Not Enough Adventure
Every day at my grandparent's house is like someone is repeating my life over and over. Day after day I wake up, eat disgusting oatmeal, and help with their farm. What and interesting summer my mom has planned out for me.
One day everything changed, I found a mysterious key and a map. Curiosity overwhelmed me, so the next minute I set out to the X, wich was not too far from here. After taking about a 100 footsteps I was actually here! With my key I opened the wooden shed door, suddenly I found... my grandpa's rusty old bike? What an adventure.
Very nice creative story.
ReplyDeleteAll the words in your title should be capitalized. I think you meant to say disgusting oatmeal. I don't think you need an and after what. You need a comma after one day, and not after changed. Overwhelmed is one word. I don't think you need the right in the sentence about you setting off to find X. I don't think you need the foot in footsteps, which would be one word if you still wanted them in there.
ReplyDeleteYou missed a space between 100 and footsteps. Would you really say suddenly found found something.
ReplyDeleteI really lile your story. It is very origanal and creative.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the other comments. Also I quite like all your descriptive language! Nice work Pinky!