Home Alone
The darkness swooped across the house, the dull silence made it even darker. Wearing my orange pyjamas, I listened to the loud thunder breaking the silence. Of course, it's not the best night to be home alone, especially for the first time. Yes, I was frightened, but my favourite movie and some buttered popcorn took away all my worries.
The salty popcorn made my lips dehydrated, so I filled up a glass of tap water. With my bad memory, I forgot to turn off the tap. The water level rose, rose and rose. Until it reached me on the coach.
I immediately swam to turn off the tap, when my parents pull in the driveway. R.I.P. to me.
Very creative good descriptive story.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story, it was really funny for me at the end, when you said "when my parents pull in the driveway R.I.P to me." And when you said "The salty popcorn made my lips dehydrated so..." I think you could add a comma after "dehydrated." And when you say "The water level rose, rose and rose." I think you could have a comma after rose, which is "The water rose, rose,(comma) and rose."
ReplyDeleteVery creative story! You could use more powerful words in your story, like when you say, ''with my bad memory" instead you could say " with my terrible or horrible memory". Other than that great story.
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