Hot, Boiling Lava
My destination was right in front of me, ( well, not really "in front" of me) but close enough. The Volcano of Terror, as they call it. I could see why not many people visit it. Seeing green liquid looking like green gas almost made me throw up. Lava everywhere, that for sure I didn't want to end up swimming in.
I was tiptoeing, looking like a dancer on a surface that was too hot for my feet. Getting closer and closer to the volcano, when I heard a humungous shake. Likely, the last thing I saw was a erupting volcano.
It's a great story! Though at the end, you said it likely the last thing I saw was a erupting volcano, though wouldn't it be obvious that you did, I mean when you heard the grumbling noise, didn't you turn around to see what was going in? In all I love it!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story had a bit of expression in it and it really made me feel like I'm there. I got confused on the bit that said seeing green liquid looking like green gas part.
ReplyDeleteBe sure the use the feedback given to you by your peers as they have some valid comments. Reading your story out loud helps to find the sentences that need some revision.
ReplyDeleteI liked your story good punctuation.
ReplyDelete