A Twisted Fairy tale
On a majestic day, Alice was skipping along a path. Although she got distracted, the path began leading her into the woods. The tall, mossy trees grew bigger and bigger, trapping Alice in a maze. the darkness swept across the forest until a light broke it.
Alice peeked through a window and she was shocked to see a witch, next to a pot that was boiling. It didn't take a long time for the witch to notice her. In terror, Alice began to run, but the witch was following her step by step. That is when Alice, woke up from a nightmare.
You're story is a great, creative story! One part that didn't really make sense to me was when you said, Alice peeked through a window. I thought she was outside in a maze? That is just my opinion. But overall great job!
ReplyDeleteyour story is really good the idea is very creative.
ReplyDeleteI like your story, good job! I'm actually wondering what would happend if it wasn't a dream.
ReplyDeleteWow! I love the plot twist at the end! I's confused though in the middle. She was in a forest, then she was in a house with a window? is that part of a twisted dream, or did she run there is terror?
ReplyDeleteThe ending was so sudden I didn't really wrap it up. But overall I liked your first sentence majestic day. So much better than the classic once upon a time.
ReplyDeleteA very interesting story. I agree with the feedback given by your peers that the ending was sudden. Be sure to read over your sentence out loud checking for fluency.
ReplyDelete