My Ghost Life
Dear Diary,
My colorless morning started off by drinking a cup of coffee. As I settled myself down about to watch TV, when a unexpected visitor entered the kitchen with a candle, a camera, and fear in his eyes.
Poor guy, but what can I do? He came into my house, plus without my permission, oh and accept the fact that he ignores me.
"Hello!" I say. Very slowly he turns around and has a gasping look.
"Wh.....hhh...Whooo'sss...... tthh....thereee?'' Too caught up in his words, and seeing me he faints."Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." I try to apologize
As the flame flickered and then went out, we were left in darkness, except TV was the new light.
great job and good puncuation
ReplyDeleteI really like how you described your story you really get a feel of it. But you need a new line every time a new person speaks. Yeah other than that I can't see what's wrong with your story.
ReplyDeleteIt's a little bit confusing, WHo was that guy who came into your house, and why did he sound so weird, and why did he faint? There are a lot off questions I have but if you changed your story I think You can clear the confusion up. Also great punctuation! :)
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story! But, when you say "my colorless morning" first of all, you spelled "colorless" wrong. It's suppose to be "colourless." And also I think you accidentally put double spaces between "colourless" and "morning." Also, A guy came into your house and you were so, like, calm about it, did you already know that you were a ghost? And when you were saying sorry to him, you said "I try to apologize, I think you could just say "I apologized." And in the end, what do you mean, "we were left in darkness, except TV was the new light?" By the way, you said "except TV was the new light" I think you should put a "the" there, so it's like "except THE TV was the new light." other than that good story.
ReplyDelete